6/10/09

Two more days and I get my first paycheck! Woooohoo! I can’t wait to go speeeeeeeeeeending…..wheeeeeeeee! Dad confirmed today that he’s paying me $7.50 and hour, which is above minimum wage, because he says that I’ve been working hard enough to earn a little extra. He’s a great dad. AND the weather report says that it’s supposed to rain on Monday, which would mean a day off (if it really happens)! I could spend the whole day at the Mall! That would be AWESOME!

I hung out at the lake this afternoon with Sophie until about dinner time. None of our other friends showed up today, and it was kind of nice to be just the two of us. You know, we didn’t feel like we were having to entertain anyone else, and we could just be totally silent and read our books on our towels in the shade, or take a swim and race to the dock. She always wins, cuz her arms and legs are longer, but mine are getting so strong that I really pushed her today. I actually kept up with her! We were both totally out of breath when we got there, and she gave me that shocked look when we pulled ourselves out of the water and sat on the edge. I just shrugged and grinned, and let her wonder whether I’ve gotten faster or she’s gotten slower. It’s fun messing with her mind. It was a relaxing afternoon and one of those I’ll remember forever, just my BFF and me.

6/11/09

Had a great idea! Send Gray a questionnaire about himself…so I can learn more stuff! I don’t have to wait for a response to write him again, do I? (Princess Prissy-Butt picks THE worst moments to try to get my attention. It’s like she just knoooooooows when it’s most inconvenient….like now, when I’m sitting at the computer typing and trying to concentrate. She jumps up on the desk and starts batting at the keys as I type, so I’ll pet her. But when I want to love on her, she’ll have none of it. Stupid cat.)

20 Questions:

1. Favorite piece of clothing -
2. All-time favorite Christmas present -
3. Least favorite chore at home -
4. Dogs or Cats -
5. Favorite cookie -
6. Favorite pizza topping -
7. Allergies? -
8. Food that makes you gag at the mere mention -
9. Favorite type of music -
10. Favorite artist/group in that music -
11. Most irritating person -
12. What kind of car do you want? -
13. Favorite teacher in eighth grade -
14. Movie you’ve watched at least 10 times -
15. Type of books? -
16. All-time favorite book -
17. TV show you’re secretly addicted to -
18. Favorite place to shop -
19. Collections? -
20. Best vacation ever -

Can’t wait to get the answers!

6/9/09

98 today, but with a tiny breeze. I didn’t try to go to the lake with some of the other girls today, because I had my Headcase appointment. I stayed up an extra half hour last night to make my list of jobs NOT requiring touching (or could use gloves). I almost forgot, but I remembered just as I was turning out the light. Here’s what I took to her:

1) Short Order Cook – (hey, if it’s good enough for Odd Thomas, it’s good enough for me…because he sees dead people and bad spirit-types, he likes to keep his life simple…I totally understand)
2) Dishwasher – same industry…not only do I not have to deal with customers, I get to wear rubber gloves!
3) Bus-person – same thing (of course, these are just jobs, not really careers, but who knows if I’ll even WANT a career…maybe I’ll be a hobo and crisscross the country riding in boxcars)
4) Miss America – they wear those long gloves, don’t they?
5) Dog groomer/walker – I haven’t actually tried to read Tripp’s thoughts, but they wouldn’t be too difficult to figure out…”Ball!…Oooo yeah, rub right there…When’s dinner?…CAT!…Grrrr, mailman”
6) Veterinarian – I do like animals and it would be a real career, and human contact would be at a minimum.
7) Golf Caddy – Well, I would only brush hands occasionally with the golfer (who wears a glove!), and I’d get to be on TV!
8) Ski Instructor – Talk about covered head to toe…we’d all be so bundled nothing would touch…EVER! Now if only I lived within a thousand miles of mountains…
9) Construction Worker – They wear work gloves, right?
10) Any kind of factory where they make food – gotta be sanitary!
11) Trash Collector – Just touching trash…I get no vibes from trash.
12) Hermit/writer – same thing.
13) Crazy artist – they’re all insane I hear…I could do that
14) Professional musician – seriously. I could play in an orchestra…..hmmmm.
15) Race Car Driver/Stunt Driver – if I can ever touch the pedals :(
16) Figure Skater – they’re usually pretty small, right? Only not couples…
17) Scientist/Lab Assistant – latex gloves?
18) Park Ranger – out in the middle of nowhere…with just the grizzly bears and cougars…on second thought
19) Minnie Mouse – she ALWAYS wears gloves…okay, fine…I’ll stop
20) EMT – I know they always wear gloves…threat of infections
21) Zookeeper – I see an “animal” theme going here…I wonder…
22) Helicopter Pilot – just sounds like fun to me!

And just for fun, I added careers I absolutely DON’T want to do:

1) Any professional TEAM sport…NO CONTACT SPORTS (although I could play tennis, golf or swim, I guess)
2) Ballet Dancer – I’ve tried standing on my toes, hurts too much
3) Teacher – no thanks.
4) Anything requiring a swimsuit – too much skin exposed that might touch someone…unless I worked at an aquarium park and worked with dolphins and killer whales
5) Anything that requires jumping out of an airplane
6) Anything that requires touching people (or them touching me) all day as part of the job (without gloves)-flight attendant (tight spaces make for lots of touching), waitress, daycare worker, official hand-shaker, Lady’s Maid (hey, they always have to help their “Lady” get dressed and junk), Airport Security, Politician of any kind (ALWAYS having to shake hands and kiss babies – although babies’ thoughts are kind of blurry), so I guess that leaves out first woman president…I can live with that. Oh yeah, stripper and hooker are totally out…I see on TV how much THEY get touched….shudder….Mom and Dad will be so relieved!
7) Anything having to do with bugs or snakes – nope, don’t think so.
8) Firefighter – no way
9) Astronaut – just the term “G-force” makes me nervous
10) Governess – I want to have my own kids and all, but I don’t think I want to take care of other people’s brats all day (especially when I can actually hear how much they hate me)

Headcase was only a tiny bit amused by my humor…she was wanting me to be more serious about the assignment. Well I’m SORRY, I’m only 13 3/4 and I think it’s a little early to be planning my whole career out now. It’s hard enough just being AROUND people all the time and remembering not to touch them, I don’t want to THINK about what I’ll have to do in the future to earn a living AND avoid touching people (or touching them ON PURPOSE to try to help them)…I’m just not ready for that.

Sigh. We talked about a few of the more vivid memories I have about times I felt “traumatized” by touching someone. There was that time when I was 6 and Mom and I were at the grocery store. She let me go over to the next aisle to look at the toys, and an older man who smelled funny walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder and offered me a piece of candy. I immediately knew that he was thinking about taking me and he had pictures in his head of what he wanted to do to me. I screamed bloody murder, and started crying and yelling for my Mommy, and people came running from all over the store. The man tried to cover it up by saying that he noticed me all alone and came up to me to ask where my mother was, but Mom knew better. I was shaking and sobbing and clinging to her and she KNEW what was going on. She let it go, so that people walked away, but as she picked me up in her arms and started walking past that man, I’ll never forget what she said to him. “I know what you are, and if I ever see you in this neighborhood again, I will call the police and have you arrested.” She told me years later that she did look him up on the Internet, and sure enough he was a convicted child molester. I still get a little sick to my stomach when I think about him. I think of all the little kids who couldn’t read his thoughts, who were trusting and just went with him to get a piece of candy.

Oh great, now I’ll sleep MUCH better…

6/7/09

Not much to say today. Church. Lunch out with parents and brother (he’s really acting weird, still treating me nice…MUST get to the bottom of this). Lazy afternoon in the air conditioning (still #1 favorite thing), reading and watching chick flick. Played Catan with family….soundly smacked down this game after winning last time…family ganged up on me…only got 5 stinkin’ points……boo. Back to work in the hot, hot sun tomorrow.

6/8/09

97 today and no breeze. Worked until 4 to finish last yard. Soreness in muscles is totally gone, and I’m able to push a little faster. Totally weird thing happened…Matt offered to take me to dinner and a movie Friday night! He has NEVER done that before. I just don’t know what to make of it, but I plan to ask what’s going on……..this is one of those times I wish I could read his mind. Drat. But a free meal and movie….not turning that down! Even if it is with Paranoid Head.

I decided to answer Gray’s email today and not wait. He did sound like he misses me and wants to hear from me soon…I guess I’ll give the guy a break :) (of course, he probably won’t get to read it until the weekend, but he’ll see I didn’t wait too long to write it). Anyway, here it is:

Gray,

I miss you too. I was at the lake all afternoon on Saturday, and I kept thinking how much more fun it would have been with you there. There was a huge group of people from school (and several from your baseball team, including Evan). We played volleyball and Frisbee, ate junk, swam, and generally had a great time (wishing you were here, right? too bad!). Jon was there, and I think he and Sophie are going to get together. He stuck to her like glue, so I think she’s figured out that he likes her. DON’T tell Jon I told you, but Sophie said she’ll give him a chance and see what happens. Personally, I think they’re really cute together.

Nothing else much is going on. It’s still almost 100 every day, with no relief in sight. Where are those cooling breezes we were promised last week? Looks like they got cancelled. I am getting stronger though, and able to push the mower easier. You wait and see, I’ll be so BUFF when you get back, I’ll be able to arm-wrestle you!

My brother asked me out on a “date” for Friday night. What’s WITH that? He’s been treating me almost human the last few weeks, very different from the last several years…ever since before high school he’s acted like I am beneath his notice, now suddenly I’m worthy of his attention again. When we were little, we played together all the time. Even when he was in, like fifth grade he would let me tag along when we were at the mall or the lake and stuff. He was my best friend, next to Sophie. Then when he started middle school, things changed. He was just different. He started hanging out with guys my parents did NOT approve of, and I’m sure he was smoking (although he never got caught). He hung out in his room all the time, playing heavy metal music, drawing depressing pictures with skulls and demons. His grades went down, not a whole lot, but enough that our parents weren’t happy since he has this HUGE brain that he obviously stopped using. They really worried about him. That’s when my dad started making him work with him, mowing lawns almost every afternoon and Saturdays (and all summer). I think it did keep him out of major trouble but he still was sulky and angry a lot of the time, and never said anything to me other than “Don’t touch my stuff,” or “Get out of my room”. So I just quit talking to him, except when our parents made us, like at dinner or “family game night”.

Anyway, sorry to BLURT all that, it’s just that I’m realizing how much I’ve missed him these last FOUR years, and I wonder what’s up with him to suddenly start noticing me again? I guess I’ll find out…I’ll let you know how it goes, okay?

I guess I’ll go…no exciting branding, roping, or castrating going on MY life. Tell me more about what you’re doing!

Carly

6/5/09

96 today. The weather channel  says it’s going  hover around here for a while (yeah, that cool down?…not happening)Still no email from Gray today. So all-around hot and sucky day. Yeah, I know, I waited 5 days to write to him, so I shouldn’t be so impatient to get one back. I’ll try to chill.

Top ten things I’m thankful for today:

10) It’s Friday
9) It’s after work
8) My muscles are hurting less
7) I’m getting to the good part in my book (if I can just keep from falling asleep every time I read!)
6) Pizza for dinner tonight
5) Spending the whole day at the lake tomorrow
4) Worked 30 hours this week…one more week and I get money!
3) I have a boyfriend…sort of
2) Watching “Princess Diaries” 1 and 2 tonight with Sophie and Sammie (with plenty of Reese’s ice cream)
And the #1 thing I’m thankful for today——–drumroll, please -
1) Air conditioning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Ahhhhhhh……..(it was actually a tie between air conditioning and cool showers)

6/6/09

Great day at the lake today. There was a whole group of people from school hanging out today, so it ended up being like a big party all afternoon. Sophie and I took the bus and got there about noon. We were just stretching out on our towels when Sammie and Kelly showed up (Kelly was wearing a neon green two-piece…I felt like a 5-year-old in my pink one-piece…sigh). After that, Heather and Tessa came, and then Jennifer and Megan. Luckily I wasn’t the only one in a one-piece, but EVERYBODY filled theirs out better than me.

Anyway, after a little while, Barky Jon showed up with his “posse” of drummers and trumpet players (Matt and Chase + Dillon, Jason, and Kirk). Jon noticed Sophie and me and immediately came over to say hi, and asked me if I’d heard from Gray yet (okay, I blushed bright red), and I had to admit that I hadn’t…but he hadn’t either so I didn’t feel so bad. He kept looking at Sophie, and I could tell he really wanted to hang around longer, so without even thinking about it I asked if he and the other guys wanted to hang out with us girls. It was so cute the way he jumped at the invitation (although I could tell that several of the other guys were VERY uncomfortable with the idea of hanging out with girls). It wasn’t long before Gray’s baseball buddy, Evan, turned up with a couple of their teammates (can’t remember their names at the moment), and pretty soon we had almost 20 people sitting and laying around. Somebody had one of those iHomes for their iPod, so we even had music. Wild.

Most of us played volleyball for a couple of hours. Man, did I get trampled on at the net, but I did pretty good when I was on the back row (I even learned how to dive for the ball! It’s not so bad in the sand). Of course, most of the guys made huge….donkeys…of themselves around Kelly (and Tessa….that girl looks FINE in a swimsuit…just sayin’). They sure don’t act like that around me. In fact, they treat me like one of the guys….I think I prefer that…mostly. But Jon only had eyes for Sophie. He made sure he was on her team and right next to her. He gave her a hand whenever she ended up in the sand and they were doing this funny high-five when their team won a point. Since I was on the other team, I was really trash-talking the whole time, and they had a great time double-teaming me on the teasing (they played off each other a little too well!).

After volleyball, a bunch of people were going in the lake, but Sophie and I decided to sit in the shade for a bit and rest, and Jon stuck right with us. He offered to go get us all a snow cone, and Sophie smiled and said sure. I looked at her with a raised eyebrow (careful not to touch her…I really didn’t want her to think I was being too nosy…not that it mattered, I knew she’d tell me what she was thinking anyway).

Sophie: What? (she tried pulling that innocent look, but I wasn’t buying it)
Me: You know what. (still quirking a brow at her)
Sophie: Oh, you mean Jon? (still playing innocent)
Me: Who else?
Sophie: He’s pretty cute. (putting on her sunglasses to hide her eyes)
Me: Come on, tell me. Don’t make me grab your arm! (she knows I’m bluffing)
Sophie: Okay, he’s very cute. I’m just not sure yet if he’s my type.
Me: Your type? And what type would that be? (I already know what she’s going to say)
Sophie: The type that’s not an idiot or a jerk. The kind with a brain.
Me: That’s pretty hard to come by in a fourteen-year-old.
Sophie: Don’t I know it? That’s why I plan to date seniors in high school, and college guys by the time I’m a junior (I know her…she could do it too).
Me: So Jon doesn’t stand a chance with you?
Sophie: I didn’t say that. We’ll see.
Me: Are you sure you’re not 25 instead of 14?
Sophie: Hey, I just know what I want, that’s all. He seems very sweet. I’ll give him a chance, okay?
Me: Fine, just be nice and don’t crush the poor guy, okay? I think he’s totally gone over you already.
Sophie: I’ll be sweet as pie. (I swear that girl would have been a vamp in the 40’s)

The rest of the afternoon was so fun, swimming, playing Frisbee football in the grass for a while (it was too HOT for me…I subbed out within about 10 minutes…too much running). Eating nachos and Red Vines…perfect lake food. Even the guys who were skittish around the girls were a lot more comfortable by late afternoon, and I could see the beginnings of several “summer couples”, not just Jon and Sophie. It made me wish, for like the hundredth time today, that Gray was here. We could have so much FUN! Anyway, Sophie and I gathered up our stuff around 5, with several other people cuz the last pick-up is at 5:30. Jon walked with us to the bus stop bench and stayed with us until the bus came. I noticed he didn’t try to hold her hand or anything…it was almost as if he had been watching how Gray handled himself (cute!). He really is a nice guy, I hope she doesn’t break his heart. With Sophie that is a real possibility. It’s not that every guy in the world wants her or anything, but the ones that do seem to develop a total devotion to her. It’s kind of freaky. She inspires guys to write sonnets about her or get in fights over her, practically. She’s just one of those girls that have IT, whatever IT is. I don’t really understand it.

My nose and shoulders are totally RED…ouch! I put aloe vera all over which helps………ooooooo, I need to check my email!…………………………………………………………………………..I got one from GRAY!!! Here it is:

Hey, Carly!

I was so glad to get your email! It sounds like you’re having a super-fun summer so far! :) I’m sorry it took me so long to answer, but I’m like you…we work so hard that I conk out right after dinner practically, and I only get a chance to use my aunt’s laptop on the weekends, when the ranch hands all take turns doing chores (instead of all of us, like during the week).

Working on a cattle ranch is REALLY hard work, but I love it. We’re up at 5 every day, so we can be dressed, fed, and saddled up by the time the sun comes up. Way up here in the Montana the sun is actually UP before 7 in the summer and it doesn’t get totally dark until about 10:30….I fall asleep before the sun is even down…makes me feel like a little kid!

So far, I’ve helped dig post holes for fences (with the blisters to prove it), I’ve been practicing roping (I miss much more often than I hit), helped round up cattle to be branded, watched a couple of steers get castrated (shudder), and I got to see twin calves be born (SO COOL!). And that’s all in the first week! That’s the kind of stuff we’ll be doing all summer, then the last week or so we’ll be driving one herd to the cattle yard for auction.

Most of the men I work with are pretty cool, but a couple are total jerks. We all have to be around each other 24/7, we all even sleep in the bunkhouse together, so I just keep my head down and my mouth shut…especially since I’m  the youngest and have to prove myself with them. Some of the guys resent the fact that my uncle let me come work for him a year earlier than he’ll hire the locals, so they’ve been kind of hard on me. That’s okay, I’ll take whatever they dish out, because I want to be here.

But, being here I’m not there…with you. I’ll say that I’m asleep almost as soon as my head hits the pillow, but you’re the last thing I think about at night, wondering what you’re doing and if you’re okay. Write back soon, okay? Us cowpokes get lonesome out here with the cows and the sagebrush, and our horses for company… :)

I miss you,

Gray

Oh wow….

6/4/09

WHY do I have to be such a shrimpy little thing? I mean, I’m about to start high school and the high school guys at the lake look at me and smile like they’re about to pat me on the head! If only I could gain a couple of inches and at least one cup size, I’d be happy….really, God, I would. I’ve been told by an authority (okay, Sophie) that I look about 12. I KNOW, YOU DON’T HAVE TO REMIND ME! It’s so frustrating to look so young. And of course, Mom’s no help. “You’ll appreciate looking younger when you get to be my age,” she says. Like I really care about what I’m going to feel like at the age of 38.

Mom told me today that I looked a little taller and I got my hopes up, I did. Then she measured me on our “growing wall” in the kitchen, and I am now exactly FIVE FEET TALL. BIG WUP. I mean, I know I’m almost done. I asked her if the girls in the family grow much in high school and she just smiled that sympathetic smile and said that she’s sure I’ll grow a little more. Yeah, uh huh. I grabbed her arm, and before she could mask her thoughts by listing menu ingredients, I caught it…she’s not holding out much hope for me getting any bigger. She gave me that you-shouldn’t-be-reading-me frown, but I don’t care. I wanted some honesty.

Well, all I can say is, I’d better be getting some Bazooooms soon. Where are those Bodacious Beauties that I read about on the pop-up ads on the Net? Hmmm? A-cup…….barely. If my body doesn’t get busy soon, Gray is totally going to lose interest once school starts and he’s around all those DEVELOPED girls. Nobody knows this but Sophie and Mom, but I haven’t even started…….you know……yet. No wonder I still feel like a little girl. My body doesn’t want to become a WOMAN…….ugh!

And no email from Gray yet, but it’s only been one day. 95 degrees today……I repeat, UGH!

6/3/09

Another hot day…up to 91. But I looked at the weather forecast online and it’s supposed to cool down a little this weekend. Who knew that an almost 14-year-old would be so interested in the weather?? I do have a much better understanding of why Dad is always waiting up to catch the local weather on TV….duh. BUT, I wrote Gray an email today. Here it is (after re-writing it about 9 times) with a little bit of commentary that I did NOT include:

Hey!

I read your note in the yearbook [only a couple a' dozen times], thanks for telling me how you feel. I feel the same way. I was happy that you want me to write you (you’re going to write back, right?). [he better or I'm going to feel really stupid] So how’s the cowboy-ing going up there in Montana? Ropin’ those steers? Bustin’ those bronc’s? Ridin’ that range? Just kidding…I really want to hear what you’re doing!

Here, it’s hot. I know this because I’m out in it every day now, pushing a stupid lawnmower, wearing a very fetching floppy hat :). I really hope your summer is going to be better than mine, because I’d love to hear about someone else’s excitement…since I will be having absolutely none. I hung out at the lake with Sophie, Heather Jackson, and Tessa Prince yesterday for a VERY short time. I think we’re going to do it again soon. Reading in the evening and going to sleep waaaaay too early make up the rest of my days.

Okay, write me back and tell me all the cool stuff YOU get to do!

Carly     [debated whether to put "love, Carly"...decided against it...he'll have to put it first]

I wonder when he’ll write back? Okay, well, I’m going to read my book, which will probably last about 10 minutes (yawn). Ugh, I’m sore all over, ESPECIALLY my shoulders and arms. I hope I don’t start looking like a body builder by the end of summer…

6/2/09

It’s going to be a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong summer…have I mentioned that? Six boring, sweaty hours pushing a lawn mower. And I didn’t get any faster today. In fact, my arms and legs are getting sore. Mowing is hard work, I tell you. Today, I did 2 small yards and 1 big one. The big one took me two and a half hours by itself. Dad is a total slave master. The breaks I get are when we’re driving from one job to another and a half hour for lunch. Did I say that it’s hard, hot and sweaty work? Well, it is. It got up to 89 today…I feel every degree of it…I have been drinking water like a freakin’ camel. I asked Dad if I could learn to use the edger and the leaf blower at least, just to break up the monotony. He said, “We’ll see.” I mean, if I have to do this stuff all summer I should at least get to learn other stuff besides just pushing a mower, right? Who knows, it might pay my way through college or something!  Dad has a couple of 6-man crews that do bigger jobs like Office building landscaping and maintenance and apartment complexes and stuff, and they have riding mowers and those totally cool ones that you stand on and ride. I wonder when I’ll get to use one of those! I’m not about to ask……yet. The ONLY thing I like about pushing a mower for 6 hours is wearing headphones and zoning out…I have lots of time to think about Gray and stuff (which I do plenty of).

Anyway, I got done at 3, took a quick shower and took the bus to the lake (oh yeah, that was the other thing my parents gave me at graduation, a summer bus pass and a pass to the lake……..sweet!). Trout Lake isn’t  much of a lake exactly, it’s more like a really big pond. The swimming area is separated from the rest of the lake by kind of a rock wall, and is bigger than a swimming pool, more like a small pond by itself. It has the big dock out in the middle and that’s about 15′ deep, so you can dive off of it. There are those cute lifeguard that are on duty till the park closes at dark, and they give swim lessons to little kids in the morning and late afternoon. There are always moms there with their screaming brats, but the beach is big enough that the MUCH older kids, like me, can get on the other side away from them and hang out. There are lots of trees at the edge of the sand, a couple of volleyball nets, a snack bar (like I mentioned before, I know). Away from the beach is a big grassy area  where you can play Frisbee or football, and there’s a big covered picnic area for parties and stuff. On the other side of the parking lot are basketball courts and tennis courts (where they also give lessons). There’s a walking/jogging/biking path all the way around the lake, and the city keeps the lake stocked with several kinds of fish (like trout, duh) so people can fish off the banks (no boats allowed). There ARE little pedal-boats that look like swans that you can rent and take out on the lake…that’s kind of fun…especially with a guy, I’ll bet (of course I found out last summer that you get in trouble if you try to use them like bumper cars). It’s a pretty cool place and most of our little town hangs out there at one time or other all summer. Like, it’s THE place to have little kids’ birthday parties, and we’ve had several big church BBQ’s there…at least one every summer, like on the Fourth of July. Oh yeah! Speaking of that, every year they have a REALLY cool fireworks display over the lake and almost the whole town (several surrounding ones) turns out for that. Totally fun. Soooooo…

Well, I got to the lake at about 4, so I only had an hour to hang out (I have that appointment at 5:30)…bummer. I think I’ll ask Dad if I could work a couple of shorter days during the week, and longer ones the rest. I wonder if he’ll go for that. Otherwise, I’ll know not to come on Tuesdays! Sophie and Heather were already there, and so was Tessa Prince (big surprise there). I think she has appointed herself Heather’s bodyguard. She seems pretty protective of her. I guess I can understand that though. If Sophie had gone through anything like Heather has (whatever that is, specifically), I would want to shield her from stupid people asking a bunch of stupid nosy questions too. Anyway, they were all lying in the shade (thank goodness), so I spread my towel out next to Sophie. I didn’t bother taking off my shorts and tanktop….what’s the point, right? I sat cross-legged on my towel and we all talked about nothing in particular…movies mostly. We all want to see “Up” since we heard it was good (I LOVE 3-D), and none of us can WAIT for Harry Potter 6 in July. Then we switched to books and Heather was telling us about “Twilight”. She read all four of those books while she was gone (she said she didn’t have much to do), and loved them. She also read another book by Stephenie Meyer called “The Host” and she love that one too. I said that my Mom won’t let me read “Twilight” until she has read it first (Sophie’s mom said the same thing of course), and I can’t get her to start it! She only knows what other parents have told her, and you know how parents are!! Totally unreasonable and mistrusting that we can read something without being “influenced” by it! Sheesh. That would be a great series to read this summer…I’ll have to work on her some more. By the time we had dissected a couple of Meg Cabot books, I had to leave and go meet Mom at the gate. Ugh. We said we’d get together again in a few days. I hope we do. I liked hanging out with Heather and Tessa….Tessa wasn’t near as snotty as I thought she’d be.

Not much to tell about my appointment with Headcase. She just wanted me to tell her some more about when I was little, the things I remember the most. I accidentally let it slip about my obsession over having a job where I wear gloves, so she gave me the assignment to come up with careers where I DON”T touch people. Great, summer’s just started and I have homework…

5/31/09

At church today, I got a chance to talk to Heather after Bible class. She just looks so sad, I felt like I had to do something for her. Most of her friends go to other churches, so she seems really alone. She seemed grateful when I asked if she wanted to sit with Sophie and me. She didn’t want to sit with her mom, and her dad just dropped her off (he doesn’t come to church). We talked a little bit about her having to catch up on her school work, and what she’s going to do this summer, which she hasn’t thought much about. Sophie asked if she’d like to hang out with us at the lake this week after we get off work, and she said okay (but she didn’t seem too excited about it…she doesn’t seem too excited about life at the moment). I was careful not to sit next to her today…I don’t know, I just don’t feel like it would be right to snoop into her thoughts right now. She needs her privacy, I think. The rest of the afternoon I just bummed around at home and read The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Cool book, I can’t wait until they make the movie! I Googled it to see if they have started, and as far as I can tell, they haven’t even cast it yet….and STILL, these people are making these movie trailers for it, and idiots think it’s the real thing even though it says right on it NOT REAL! Sheesh. I wish I were smart and athletic and resourceful like that…I think I’m more like Rue than Katniss. Small and scrappy but an easy target… Anyway, I only have a couple of chapters left, then I can get Catching Fire (part two) from the library! I’ll probably read a lot this summer…mow…read…swim…grayless…sigh.

6/1/09

Day One of the “Endless Summer” done. Gray has been gone two whole days. So when should I email him? I don’t want to look desperate or anything, but I’m dying to write him to make sure he knows I read his message in my yearbook. I don’t think I should wait a whole week, that would seem like I don’t care at all. How about Wednesday? I’ll write him on Wednesday. Fine.

I can tell I’m going to be judging the summer by the heat…today wasn’t so bad for the first of June, only 85 with a nice breeze. I worked 6 hours today, mowing 3 smallish lawns front and back. It was exhausting. Dad said he would give me a bonus at the end of the summer if I can keep improving on that. So I’ve decided to make it a challenge to see how fast I can get. At least I’ll build muscles this summer! The thing I hate most is all the sunscreen I have to wear. My skin is THAT kind of skin…you know, the kind that just burns, peels, and freckles. ICK! I don’t care how stupid I’m going to look, I’m going to wear a long-sleeve shirt (light weight of course, one of Dad’s), overalls, and a big floppy hat! At least no one will recognize me as I sweat and toil the summer away.

I pulled out my flute and played some tonight. I don’t want to totally ruin my embouchure by being lazy! It was kind of fun…I’ll try to play at least three times a week. Hey, maybe I can get Sophie to come over and play a duet.

Speaking of Sophie, we’re meeting Heather at the lake tomorrow afternoon for a while. Mom will pick me up at 5 to go to my Headcase appointment, but at least I can hang out for a couple of hours with them. I’m totally wiped out, I think I’ll go to bed. Note to self: Don’t tell my friends that I’m going to sleep willingly during the summer when it’s barely dark!

5/30/09

Dad decided to let me off the hook today, but made it clear that, as of Monday, I will be working for him at least 20 hours a week this summer (then every Saturday until the weather gets really bad this fall). He says it will keep me out of trouble and build character….ick. Who wants character anyway? He reminded me that Matt worked for him part-time until he was 16, and that it didn’t hurt him any. Well, that’s debatable. I notice the minute he turned 16, he got a REAL job someplace else, not working for Dad! Oh well, it’s school clothes (and SHOES!!!) money….clothes money….clothes money. I’ll make that my mantra this summer. And Dad is very serious about paying real minimum wage too, and he says he’ll be taking out for taxes and stuff and treat me just like a real employee. That’s kind of cool, actually. Of course, Mom and Dad said I have to save 1/2 of everything I earn for something big like college or a car, and I have to put at least $50 a month in a “do-not-touch” fund for the future. They sat me down this morning and gave a BORING lecture about money and saving and EVIL credit…blah-blah-blahdy-blah. Okay, who cares if I can be a millionaire when I retire??? I’m not even 14 yet! I want to spend! :) Whatevs…I figured it out and even with having to save so much, I’ll probably have at least $50 a week left over to spend however I want! Well, I only get paid every two weeks, so I won’t get my first check until the middle of June, but that’s okay. I’m still stoked about having cash soon!

Since I didn’t have to work, Sophie got her mom to take us to the lake today. Of course, her three little sisters went too, but we just ignored them and went to the other end of the beach and scoped out the lifeguards! We swam and hung out with a couple of other girls, Jennifer and Meagan, from school. We all teased Sophie about being such a brainiac…she won both the science and history awards for eighth grade last night. She doesn’t even care! She likes being a brain…weird girl. She laughed and told me she overheard one of the math teachers say the names of the top math students, and I came in third for the math award. Eeeeeeeeeek! I’ll have to totally tone it down next year! :) Anyway, it was a fun afternoon, sitting in the shade (I’ll get pleeeeeenty of sun this summer), drinking Slurpee’s and eating Corn-nuts from the snack bar, talking about boys (being the only one with a boyfriend…I guess he sort-of is…I got teased about that), and starting high school and what everyone was going to do this summer (mine was the most pathetic and pitied, no question). We went and played in the lake a couple of times and dove off the big raft in the middle of the swim area and splashed and did flips and had breath-holding contests…I’m not too great at that…only 35 seconds. Sophie and I decided we’ll have to do more of this when we’re not working this summer!

5/29/09

It’s been a long and exhausting day. I’m kind of glad it’s over, even thought I’m feeling sad. Just too much drama for me. I don’t even know where to begin…I really don’t want to tell about the whole day, I’m too tired, so I’ll just give the highlights…

1) Heather’s sudden return was all over the news this morning, and they made it sound very mysterious, which I guess it is to all those people that have absolutely no idea what’s been going on (not that I know much more, but I do have a clue anyway). The news people were bringing up all the questions that I’m sure her parents don’t want to answer, but it did come out that she was with her real dad, and at this point there aren’t going to be any charges filed against him. I’m glad that he’s not in trouble for taking her. I mean if he’s a good dad he was doing what he felt he had to do, right? I so plan to find out more. I did get a chance to touch Heather tonight at graduation. She didn’t walk with the rest of us, but she was there, and I went up to her and gave her a hug and told her I was glad she was back. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess, but mostly she was embarrassed to be the center of attention. A few random ones were…I wish everyone would just quit staring at me…nice girl…where’s dad…stay close, dad…I want to go home…I’m glad I don’t have to walk up on that stage…I hate hurting Mom, but I just can’t go back there…I would totally kill myself…there’s just too many people here…when can we go home…I felt so bad for her. She was so sad and nervous. I wish I could do something to help her. I will find a way to do that if I can.

2) The last day of school was fun, but sad too. The eighth grade parents had a bunch of good junk food set up for us this morning at the graduation rehearsal, and all of us were playing around so much that Mr. Larson was getting totally mad at us. He kept reminding us that we would just embarrass ourselves if we totally messed up…whatevs. How hard is it to file in by rows, then go get a certificate by rows? Hmmm? Anyway, we had a good time, and we got to line up with our friends, so I walked with Sophie and Gray and Jon were right in front of us. After it was over, we got our yearbooks and were signing everybody’s. I didn’t write much in Gray’s. I mean I still don’t know how we stand with each other (sigh), so I wasn’t about to write anything really cute or flirty, so I just said that I was happy we’re friends and we’ll have a lot of fun in high school. I know, I know….lame. I was nervous to see what Gray wrote in mine, so I decided not to read it until tomorrow. He’ll be gone, and I’ll be sad anyway, so if I’m disappointed it won’t matter, right? Sophie and I hung out at my house until she had to go home and change into the new sundress her mom bought her for graduation. She’ll probably have to go up on stage to get some kind of award (she always does), but since I don’t have to worry about that, I didn’t ask for anything new to wear. I’m just wearing my favorite pink skirt and striped top. I really don’t care that much…..in fact, if it weren’t for Sophie and Gray I wouldn’t even want to go. I was sure I would trip going up the stairs to the stage or something. That’s the kind of stuff that usually happens to me…

3) At graduation, some of the girls were crying like they were never going to see each other again. Oh brother…most of us are going to the same high school next year. Get over it! In fact, a lot of them will see each other all summer. I just don’t see the reason to get all weepy and gushy over the whole thing. BUT after it was over and everybody was starting to leave, Gray came up to me to say goodbye and then I did almost get teary. I knew this was the last time I was going to see him until the end of August (his plane was leaving at 6 am), and I really WAS sad about that. Of course, everybody was standing around, so there wasn’t going to be any mushy talk or big goodbye scene, like the one I picture in my head, but he did give me a hug and held onto my hand for a minute.

Gray: Well, I guess this is it.
Me: Yeah, I guess so.
Gray: I hope you have a great summer.
Me: You too. Don’t get thrown off any bucking broncos.
Gray: (grinning) I’ll try not to. Don’t get any grass stains.
Me: (grinning back) I can’t make any promises on that one.
Gray: Um, did you read what I wrote in your yearbook? (he looks at me like he’s searching for something)
Me: Uh, no, I haven’t had time. (lie)
Gray: Oh okay. (he looks a little disappointed) No hurry, whenever you get a minute.
Me: I’ll read it when I get home, okay?
Gray: That would be great. (his dimple winks at me and I feel like I’m really going to cry) Well, my parents are waiting for me, so I have to go. Take care, okay?
Me: You too. (he gives my hand one more little squeeze then walks away)

4) After that, I was really ready to get out of there. Mom and Dad took Matt and me out to eat at a nice restaurant near the high school, and it was a madhouse of course. I barely remember what I ate. I was so bummed at Gray leaving that I didn’t care much about it. It’s funny but Matt was actually nice to me tonight. He kind of punched my shoulder and said how much he was looking forward to torturing me in high school next year…but he said it with an actual smile (I nearly choked on my chicken tender!). I just stared at him like he was an alien being or something. Mom and Dad gave me a pretty white-gold necklace with my birthstone in it (August – peridot, a light-green, I like it better than emeralds, they’re too dark) and two tiny diamonds on either side of it. It’s so pretty, I really like it. It did make me feel special, and yeah, it made the graduation seem more special too. Another total shocker, Matt got me a $20 gift card to Target…wow! When we got home, Mom had made my favorite devils food cake with fudge frosting, and it had my name and little flowers all over it. Dad bought me some daisies, and we ate cake and vanilla ice cream and watched some lame movie Dad picked out…but that was okay, it turned out to be a pretty nice night, after all.

I guess I totally told the whole day anyway, huh? Oh well…Now I’m going to read Gray’s message, since I told him I would…I’ll paste it here:

Carly,
It’s been some year, huh? I had a great time getting to know you better this last month. In fact I have been wanting to for a long time. I guess I’ve kind of been crushing on you the whole year. Even though I’m excited to go work on my uncle’s ranch this summer, I wish I could stay home and hang out with you too. You’re fun and sweet and I really like you. I’m not sure if you feel the same, but I hope you do. It’ll be kind of lonesome up in Montana, so will you write me? My email is GRWeber@networth.net. I’ll look forward to hearing from you.
Gray

Wow.