You can turn off the sun, but I’m still gonna shine

5/22

What a long week…yay for Friday! In honor of the holiday weekend, I’m not going to write anything! You got it, nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zippo. See ya’………wouldn’t wanna be ya’!

5/23

Okay, I’ll write a tiny word (or two). But just a little teeny tiny bit. At breakfast yesterday, Mom told me that she and Dad talked about it and they’re really glad I told Sophie my secret. They know she’s a good friend who will never betray my trust, and they’re happy I have someone else to talk to about things. They just cautioned me to come to THEM with the important stuff and not wait…yeah, yeah. When I hugged Mom, I knew that she really IS glad I told Sophie, but she’s worried about me (so what else is new!) with the whole Jerry Fowler thing.

Last night Sophie spent the night at my house and we talked till about 3am. She insisted on a play-by-play of my time with Gray. She said she’s a little jealous that a really cute guy likes me and she’s got nobody. I reminded her of at least three guys at school who like her, but she thinks they’re all lame (by the way, we talked on line for at least two hours with a bunch of band friends, including Gray and Jon…they had us ROFL). She had all kinds of questions about my “power” as she likes to call it. We talked about Headcase…Sophie wants to meet her of course. I told her all about what’s been going on with Heather Jackson’s mom and stepdad and the thoughts that came from Tessa Prince. She was totally blown away by the weirdness of it all, and we tried to decide if there’s some way we can find out more information. We think that Heather’s stepdad has been mean to her, maybe even abusive, and Heather’s dad has taken her away somewhere. Maybe I could touch Tessa again to see if she’s heard from Heather. Time’s running out, though. School is done on Friday, and after that I won’t have any excuse to get near Tessa (or Heather’s parents, really, even at church… besides, my Dad told me to stay away from Jerry Fowler).

Because it’s Memorial Day Weekend, Dad didn’t make me do any lawns today…..YAY BABY! But tonight, my parents are insisting on a “family game night”…oh joy. A Saturday night and I have to spend it with my parents and ole Paranoid, since it’s his only night off in a while and we haven’t done anything as a family in at least a month. I guess it won’t be too bad, they’re ordering pizza and Mom bought stuff to make ice cream sundaes. And we’re going to have a cutthroat game of Settlers of Catan…..last time Matt slaughtered all of us, but tonight he’s GOIN’ DOWN…….HARD! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MERCY!!!!!!!

Time moves so slow when promises get broken

5/21 (cont.)

I’m really tired, so I’ll make this short if I can. I had a long talk with Mom and Dad about touching Heather’s mom and stepdad, and how weird it all was, and the dark and angry thoughts in Mr. Fowler’s head. I can’t believe that was only 4 days ago…after the wild (and very distracting) week I’ve had, it seems like FOREVER. They both were NOT happy about the fact that I took it upon myself to read the Fowlers’ thoughts OR the fact that I didn’t tell them about it right away. In fact, they were put out with me all the way around (I think I almost got grounded, but since it’s the first time I’ve ever done that, they just warned me not to go around doing stuff like that).

They had me tell them about the incident with the Fowlers several times, asking questions and having me tell them about what they said, how they said it, and their facial expressions as well as I could remember. I didn’t want to tell them about how preoccupied I’ve been with Gray, so I did my best to remember accurately. They said again that I really should have told them immediately, that I would have remembered better the little things, but that I did pretty good. Well, I’ve thought about it enough over the last few days…I even dreamed about Mr. Fowler once (he was chasing me and yelling…when I get my hands on you, kid, I will GIVE you trouble!)…I woke up with a gasp, sweating. I promised that next time something like this happens, I’ll be prompt in relating it…Mom said she hoped there wouldn’t be a next time, and don’t go looking for trouble. I’m not planning on it.

We talked about what should be done with this information, and Mom and Dad were very concerned about Mrs. Fowler’s skittishness and Mr. Fowler’s anger and total lack of sadness and worry over his stepdaughter. This, combined with what I learned from Tessa Prince, seems to paint a sad and distressing picture of Heather’s home life, but Mom and Dad were a little stumped about where to go with it or who they could talk to (especially without mentioning me and my involvement in the whole thing). They decided Dad would call his friend in the police department, Detective Richard Wilkes (they play on the same softball team). Dad said he would just ask a few questions about the investigation and see what kind of information he could get. I’m really relieved that I’ve given it over to my parents. I feel like a huge burden is lifted off my shoulders…for the moment anyway.

I’m not sure how they really felt about me telling Sophie about my “gift”, but after I told them all about the fight and everything, they at least said they understood why I did it. I think they were so distracted by the other stuff that they didn’t give it that much thought. I’ll probably hear more about it later…

Okay, I’m exhausted….more tomorrow.

5/21

Seven more days of school (Memorial Day off…) — yippee! Today was a weird but fun day, since Sophie and I are back to being BFF’s. She was waiting for me at school this morning. Actually when I got there, she was talking to Gray and Jon and they all turned and watched me walk up from the circle where Mom dropped me off (I have to add here that as we drove to school, I told Mom I really need to talk to her and Dad about something tonight…I’ve been so distracted that I haven’t told them about Mr. Fowler and his intense anger issues, but it’s really been there the whole time at the back of my mind…also I better tell them about sharing my “gift” with Sophie…I think they’ll be okay with that…I hope…too late to take it back now anyway). Anyhooo….it was weird having an audience as I walked up to the front steps of the school.

It’s funny but I noticed something else as I walked toward them… Gray and Sophie were both smiling at me as I came up to them, but Jon wasn’t even looking at me. He was watching Sophie with a kind of a funny look on his face. Then he seemed to catch himself and turned toward me with a little frown. What was that all about? We all walked to the quad and sat around for a little bit while we waited for the first bell to ring. Gray was cracking jokes about Sophie and me fighting and making up, and Jon was quieter today than yesterday. Weird, I never thought of him as being the shy type, but maybe he’s uncomfortable around Sophie since he hasn’t spent much time with her. I’m sure he’ll loosen up if we all spend more time together which I’m hoping we will…even thought we don’t have much time left before the end of school and Gray leaves for the summer. Did I say “yippee” about school being almost out? Man, I forgot about Gray leaving in just 10 days! Stupid!!! I’ll barely get to spend any time with him then he’ll be gone. Urg.

Anyway, Gray and Jon walked with both of us to our first class (Sophie’s is right next door to mine), and Gray squeezed my arm a little before he walked away. Sophie stuck a note in my book and grinned before she walked into her classroom. When I got in class, I opened it and almost laughed out loud.

Hey Girl!

Okay, I want the scoop…tell me some dirt on people! Nothing really bad or too sadly person, just stuff on the people we already don’t like or the really funny junk! Come on, spill!

I thought about it for a minute, and then looked around to make sure no one was paying any attention to me before I wrote anything.

Okay, let’s seeeeeeee. Tiffany Chase still sleeps with a teddy bear and sometimes has it in her backpack…Jared Bradley has had a secret crush on Mrs. Fogerty all year (if you watch him in English, you can totally tell)…Brett Smith (yes, our big burly football tackle) takes ballet and piano, and NOT because his parents make him Oops, gotta go, pop quiz…After reading, you must destroy this!!!!! Eat it if you have to! :p

After class, I handed her the note. We went back and forth like that all day. I amazed myself at how much I know about almost everybody. I mean, most of these guys I’ve known for a loooooong time. At lunch, we kept whispering and giggling and I think gray got a little paranoid, even though I told him we weren’t talking about him. He finally took off with Jon to play basketball. I did tell Sophie that I can’t read him at all, and she thought that was the funniest thing she heard all day…the rat. At the end of the day, I did tell her that she’d have to keep all that stuff to herself, even though it was mostly stuff that didn’t matter one way or the other (I didn’t tell her anything that might really hurt someone if it got out…I know I need to be careful and protect the secrets of people), and she promised faithfully that she wouldn’t tell anything. We totally covered that paper with notes in tiny little writing, front and back…she handed it to me after school and I made a mental note to really burn it when I got home. I really don’t want anyone to read it…Now that I think about it some more, I’m definitely not going to make a habit of snitching stuff to Sophie. I mean, it was really fun to be able to share some of the secrets I know with my best friend…I’ve been dying to for years…but I don’t feel quite right about it. I can’t help feeling that if it was me, I wouldn’t want people knowing any of my thoughts and secrets, much less sharing them with someone else. I don’t want to be a witch or anything either. Anyway…

I’ve got to go talk to Mom and Dad, I’ll add more later…

5/20…….more

Okay, I’m back. What was I saying? Oh yeah, Gray and lunch. Well, it’s getting late and I need to tell about Sophie and me, so I’ll just say it was a great and confusing day all in one. After lunch, Gray walked me to my next class and after school he walked with me from my locker to the car. Mom raised an eyebrow at me, but didn’t say a word. Thanks, Mom. Gray said he’d see me tomorrow, and then walked off. I guess we’ll see what happens tomorrow. Sigh….I sure wish I knew what’s in his head. It would make things so much easier. I know, I said that already.

Sophie also met me at my locker, which is what we usually do. She said her mom said it was okay for her to come over for a while, and she walked with us to the car, trying not to grin at me too much over Gray. On the ride home, we didn’t say a word to each other. Mom glanced at me several times; she could tell something was definitely off, since we usually chatter and argue all the way. But she’s good about knowing when NOT to say anything, and I love that about her.

At home, Sophie and I went to the kitchen first and grabbed an apple each, a knife, and a jar of peanut butter like we always do, then headed upstairs to my room. I was getting serious butterflies in my stomach and knew I wouldn’t be able to eat anything until I had told her my secret. When we got up there, Sophie dropped her backpack on the bed, and wasted no time getting to the point.

Sophie: Look, I know this isn’t easy for you, so I’ll start. You have this secret. It has something to do with touching people, and I know you’re not a germaphobe. I have an idea about it, but I want you to just come out and say it.
Me: Let me start by saying that I have never told my secret to anyone, not anyone. My parents and Matt know, and now my counselor knows (Carly raises her eyebrows at that tidbit of info and acts like she’s going to say something, then just presses her lips together), but Mom and Dad told her, not me. That’s it, nobody else. I’ve been hiding this since as long as I can remember, and if you hadn’t gotten so mad at me and pushed so hard, I may have eventually told you anyway, but I don’t know. You have to swear that you’ll NEVER tell a soul about this, even on pain of death when you’re being tortured horribly and you’re screaming for mercy.
Sophie: I swear, Carly. Get on with it!
Me: I mean it Sophie. If this secret got out, my life and my family’s lives would never be the same. I’ve seen too many shows and movies where people’s lives are ruined when something like this became public.
Sophie: I understand. I swear I won’t tell. I will take your secret to the grave, okay?
Me: Okay. (I take a deep breath, but still don’t say anything for a full minute) I can read minds. (I let out my breath in a big whoosh, and feel better already just for having said it out loud)
Sophie: (eyes getting really big) I KNEW IT! I knew it was something freaky like that! You don’t know how many times I’ve thought there was something funny about the way you knew exactly what I was thinking or suggested doing something that I was about to say!
Me: (laughing) Well, sorry Sophie, but you’re not that hard to read. You say everything that’s in your head already. There’s not a whole lot of talent that goes into that. And there have been lots of times you asked me if I was a mind-reader or something.
Sophie: Yeah and you always just shrugged it off, making some comment about best friends knowing each other. But I never felt like I knew you as well as you know me.
Me: Every time I thought about telling you, I would think of some awful reaction… either you wouldn’t believe me or you would think I was insane or you’d be so excited you’d tell everyone you knew (she looks indignant at that, then smiles and shrugs, knowing she has a big mouth sometimes).…sorry. How long have you thought I was keeping a secret?
Sophie: Oh man, years. Ever since we met in kindergarten it seemed like you had secrets that you weren’t sharing. You’d get a look on your face, like you could hear a dog whistle or something that the rest of us couldn’t hear. And sometimes you’d totally freak out and try to cover it up. But I didn’t start putting that together with the touching people until middle school, when you really started being weird about the touching thing and avoiding it so bad. For a while I thought you were just going schizoid on me, but I finally started putting the action and the reaction together.
Me: And here I thought I was so subtle. I know people think I’m odd. I can’t help that. I try not to react as much as possible, and if the thoughts are not bad or freaky I’m better at it than I used to be. You wouldn’t believe how many I hear in a day. I tune out as much as I can. I don’t want to be a total spaz.
Sophie: (rolling her eyes) Carly, you’re not a total spaz! You do hide it pretty well, but you couldn’t hide it completely from me. I’m with you almost more than your parents are! I AM observant, you know. And I really care about you. I’ve been waiting for a long time for you to share this with me, and it did hurt that you didn’t feel you could share your problems with me. I thought there were a couple of times when you almost did.
Me: Yeah, there have been a few times when I really needed to talk to somebody other than my parents about things I hear.  I’m so sorry that I didn’t trust you. I have just been so paranoid about the government or somebody like that finding out about it, ever since I read those Meg Cabot books last year.
Sophie: Oh, the “1-800-Where-Are-You” series? Now that makes sense. She was your favorite author for a while, then you just totally stopped reading her books all of a sudden. I wondered what was up with that. That’s just fiction, Carly. Nobody is going to come and take you away from your parents and make you hunt bad guys for the government.
Me: Maybe not. But it was so close, and it really freaked me out. I’m just not taking any chances, I don’t care how stupid that seems. You forgive me for hiding this from you for so long, right? (she nods vigorously, making her curls bounce and hugs me… silly girls, we both have tears in our eyes) I am glad you know now, though. I have so many things to tell you!

We talked nonstop until she had to go home for dinner. She asked all kinds of questions about it, and I told her stuff I could remember from when I was a little kid. I told her about Headcase (she thought it was totally cool that I have my very own shrink AND she loved it that Headcase told me I should tell her), and Mom and Dad worrying about my sanity and handling the stuff I hear. I didn’t tell her about Heather and that whole thing, but I will tomorrow. I just wanted to let it sink in for a while before I hit her with the really weird stuff. I’m just sooooooo relieved.

Overheard bits of conversations that I find amusing…

“After two divorces, I decided God was trying to tell me something.”

5/20

I did it! I told Sophie my secret!!!!!! It took me all day to work up the nerve to do it, but I finally trusted her enough to just spit it out. That’s the biggest news of the day, but not the only news. It turned out to be almost as good a day as yesterday…. definitely as memorable.

It started out with me writing her a note, asking if she would come over here after school and talk. I didn’t think it was something we should talk about in public, and I had no idea how long it would take for me to come out with it. I planned to give the note to her at lunch or let somebody else give it to her.

When Mom dropped me off at school, who do you think was waiting for me outside the front doors? Gray and Jon, that’s who. Gray, with that totally sweet smile on his face, like he was so happy to see me. I could feel my face turn bright red as I walked toward him, and my smile was probably goofy, but I was really surprised to see him and at first I didn’t know if he was actually waiting for me…I mean he could have been there waiting for someone else or just hanging out there with Jon. So I wasn’t sure if I should stop or just smile and keep going. I don’t know how these things go, I’ve never had a guy act like he likes me before (as if), and I didn’t want to make a mistake and totally embarrass myself! But he made it easy and walked out to meet me before I got to the steps. Both guys walked me to my locker, rehashing the competition yesterday. People we met in the hall smiled and said, “Way to go!” and “You guys rock!” and “Go Markham!” Some were high-fiving the guys. I looked at Gray, puzzled, and he said, “It was up on the marquee this morning.” Ah……..

After I got my books, Jon took off for his first class but Gray walked with me all the way to first period which was way at the other end of the hall from his class. I was dying to ask him what that meant, but I tried to just enjoy the attention. Maybe he didn’t want me to feel like he was ignoring me after yesterday. He’s nice like that. I just couldn’t say anything, and I was feeling a little shy and awkward not knowing how I’m supposed to act. When he was leaving he said, “I’ll see you at lunch, okay?” My heart was skipping beats and I wanted to ask questions more than ever (where is a good mind-reading when you need one), but all I could croak out was, “Okay.” After that I only caught glimpses of him in the hall between classes for the next few hours. When he caught my eye he would smile and lift his chin at me like guys do when they’re saying “hey.”

I stopped in Sophie’s second period class and dropped the note on her desk while she was over talking to some other girls. We had English together third period and she dropped it back on my desk as she walked past and sat behind me, but didn’t say anything. I opened it and it said, “I’ll call my mom during lunch.” Well, that’s one hurdle. It reminded me about how nervous I was to talk about this, so then I couldn’t concentrate on what the teacher was talking about and almost got in trouble.

We got nothing done in band, since we were all still on a high about winning our competition, even though Mr. Parker reminded us of the last concert of the year next week. Didn’t matter, we just goofed around and got in trouble the whole time, and his yelling was only half-hearted. I tried not to look back at Gray too many times, but it was really hard to control myself. A couple of times it seemed like he was just waiting for me to look his way, and he smiled real big and once he winked at me, like we have this great secret. I felt warm all over. I don’t know how much of a secret it is, whatever IT is, because a couple of the other flutes turned around once and asked if Gray and I were a “thing” now. I didn’t know what to say, so I just said “Chaaa…no” like it was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard of (but of course looked like a beet). Hey, I’m not going to add to the rumors if I don’t even know what’s going on for sure myself. THAT would be embarrassing for sure!

Since lunch was right after band, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do (AGAIN). Usually I would automatically go with Sophie to the lunchroom, but we weren’t exactly speaking yet, and I didn’t know what Gray was going to do, if he was going to sit with me or just talk to me after or what. He said he would see me at lunch, but what does that mean? It’s just too weird liking somebody and not knowing how much they like you back…Anyway, I took my time putting my flute away trying to decide what to do, and when I looked up Gray and Jon were standing right in front of me.

Gray: You coming?
Jon: Yeah, hurry up! The line will be out the door, cuz’ it’s taco day!
Me: Uh, okay. Just let me put my case in its cubby.

As simple as that. The three of us walked to lunch together, stood in line, and got our food together. Jon was teasing me about giving him my tater tots, like in “Napoleon Dynamite”. I told him to get his own tots. Then the three of us were telling our favorite lines from the movie and cracking up. Gray was telling me about his mad skills with nunchucks. I was telling them about the time machine I got through mail order, and Jon was thinking about shaving his head because he was so sweaty. When we got our food, Gray led the way over to their regular table, so I ended up sitting with the drummers and trumpet players…it was weird, but fun. Most of these guys (and a couple of girls) were the ones I played Frisbee with yesterday, so they were all teasing me about how easy it was to guard me since I’m so short. I was mostly quiet and blushing but I got a couple of cracks in I guess. Part way through the meal, Gray started holding my hand under the table, and I just looked at him and tried not to grin like a lunatic. He squeezed my fingers and I squeezed back, and it really did feel like we had a great secret. I guess I’m not quite ready for everybody to know about us (if there really is an US) yet…I wouldn’t even know how to answer any questions. I mean, we haven’t even talked about liking each other yet. Shouldn’t we do that before everybody starts knowing? Aaaack, I wish I knew. Isn’t there a rulebook or something?

Okay, Mom’s yelling for me, I’ll have to finish about Sophie later……..BRB!

5/19

Yeah, it’s still Tuesday. I thought I was done, but then I remembered that I forgot to tell about my appointment with Headcase (which Mom took me to right after I got back from competition). I didn’t say anything to Mom about Gray on the drive over, I just told her all about the competition and how we won and how much fun I had. But inside, my stomach was flopping and I couldn’t stop smiling. Gray held my hand, really held it like he meant it (AND it wasn’t all floppy or sweaty…at least those are things other girls don’t like about holding hands with a guy…I don’t have any experience with that). Is it possible that he Like-Likes me?? When we pulled in at school, he gave it an extra squeeze before he let go to grab his backpack. I kind of felt like my brain was not attached to my body at the moment. After we got our bags and instruments, he walked me part way to my car and said he’d see me tomorrow. I said okay (I have such a way with words).

My appointment with Headcase went pretty well. I was still so keyed up about the day that I could hardly talk about anything else at first. But when I gave her my list of occupations, she got me to talk about that for a while. I didn’t tell her about my list of “gloved jobs”. That’s my own private thing. I did tell her about the fight with Sophie (but not Mr. Fowler’s gross thoughts), and she told me that I really should tell Sophie about my “gift”. I said that I was thinking about it, and she asked what was I really afraid of. I told her I guessed that it was just that I have guarded this secret for so long that I’m afraid if I tell anybody outside my family (except Headcase, who has an oath to keep secrets), then somehow the whole world will find out. I really don’t want people to know I’m a total freak, even if I am one. I didn’t tell her about my little tiny secret fear that if Sophie knew, somehow the evil government would torture it out of her, no matter how loyal she is, no matter how hard she tried not to tell, then they would come and cart me away and I’d never see the outside of a lab in a government building for the rest of my life. I know, I know….paranoid much? I’ve just read too many books. But the fear is still real to me.

Headcase said that Sophie’s right, I need to trust her if she’s going to be my friend. I have to trust her with my secret, because she obviously really cares about me, and has proven herself trustworthy with my secrets in the past. I told her I would try. And I will.

When I got home, I had an email from Sophie.

Carly,

What a day, huh? I can’t believe we won! But I HATE that we didn’t get to share it with each other. That’s the first time we’ve missed sharing something so TOTALLY important. I can’t stay mad at you. I don’t want to stay mad at you. You’re my BFF! Are you ready to talk to me yet? Cuz I’m ready to listen, really. Trust me, Carly.

Sophie

P.S. Congrats on the Gray thing. I KNEW he liked you, I could just tell. Maybe fighting with me for a couple of days isn’t such a bad thing!

Can I do it? Can I really tell her?

5/19 (cont…hopefully last installment!!)

Then it was time to go back to the campus and find our our scores and wait for 3:00 when the winner of the competition would be announced. Again, Gray stuck to me like glue and made sure I was occupied the whole time. I could tell he was working to keep me laughing, but he didn’t really have to try too hard. I think he’s so funny
anyway…and cute….and sweet….and smart….sigh. When Mr. Parker got our scores, we went out and sat in the grass and he told us….we got all three “1′s”!!!! That’s the best you can do (you are scored between 1-5 from each judge….1 is excellent, 5 is totally stinky)! We were all so excited. He read us the judges’ comments, which were mostly positive. They did mention that we rushed the march, and said a couple of things about the slower piece (things we knew we weren’t tight enough on), but overall they all said we did a very good job. WOOOOO-HOO! Now we just had to wait another hour to find out how everyone else did…

We went back to the auditorium and listened to the last band. I got a sinking feeling when I heard them, because they did a really good job on their music. Gray and I looked at each other a couple of times, because you could tell that they were as good as we were. The only thing that might make a difference was that their music didn’t seem to be as difficult as ours, so we crossed our fingers and waited. The judges talked between themselves for what seemed like a really long time, but was probably only about 10 minutes. We heard the other band out in the foyer whooping, so we knew that they got good scores too. And we waited…and waited….and waited. We were all getting really restless, and by this time all the bands were back in the audience waiting with us, so the rustling and talking was getting louder. Finally, the head of the competition went up on the stage ready to tell the results and hand out the trophies. They give trophies to first, second, and third place. I caught myself holding my breath, and let it out with a whoosh, trying to settle my nerves, and Gray
turned and looked at me and grinned, nodding in agreement. He knew just how I felt. Third place went to the band we heard in the morning, after us. And here’s where I pretty much stopped listening for a minute. My hand was gripping the armrest tightly because I was so nervous, and Gray grabbed it and squeezed. I didn’t look at him, but I couldn’t believe it was anything other than support and nerves. So I grabbed Kelly’s hand on my other side and squeezed. She was about to hyperventilate, she was so nervous. Please-oh-please-oh-please-oh-please was buzzing in her head. Pretty soon practically our whole band was holding hands and holding our breath. They announced second place….it was the last band who played! And first place……..was Markham Middle School!

We WON!!!!!! We all screamed and jumped up and down and hugged…and yes, some shed a few happy tears (Okay, me, I did). We had worked so hard and it paid off with a win. It was just the best. There is no better feeling in the world than working really hard toward a goal as a team and reaching that goal. WOW!!! Mr. Parker practically sprinted up the aisle to get our trophy and shake the judges’ hands. He was over the moon!

After that, it was time to head back to the school. Some of the kids who had cell phones (not ME of course) were calling their parents and all their other friends to share the great news. Gray left me for a minute and went and talked to Jon, then came back and we all headed out to the bus. I was so happy I didn’t think the day could get any better….boy, was I sooooo wrong. When I climbed onto the bus, I
headed kind of toward the back since there were a lot of other people getting on after me. I sat next to a window, and it occurred to me that I hadn’t asked anybody to sit with me but I didn’t really care at that point. Gray was right behind me and plopped himself down on the seat with me. I just looked at him in surprise.

Me: Aren’t you going to sit with Jon? (I know my eyes are practically bugging out of my head, but I can’t help it)
Gray: I told him I was going to sit with you. Is that okay? (his green eyes search my face)
Me: Uh, yeah. That’s just fine with me. (we smile at each other) Thanks for being such a good friend today. It turned out to be a really great day after all.
Gray: No problem at all. And yeah, it really did. (he grins bigger) A great day.

And then he totally shocked me into cardiac arrest  by reaching over and laying his hand on top of mine where it was resting on the seat between us. I just looked at our hands, my heart racing like I’d been playing Ultimate Frisbee for a couple of hours. I bit my lip to keep from grinning like a fool and looked away, making eye contact with Sophie who was sitting across the aisle and one row up. She gave me a big cheesy grin, then turned back to Kelly who was sitting on her other side and whispered something to her. Kelly glanced over her shoulder quickly, then turned back around grinning too. Oh, man, this is going to be all over the whole band by tomorrow… maybe even by the time we get back to school (as Kelly leaned forward and whispered to Sammie)! I don’t care. I’m just going to enjoy this moment right now. And I did….I soooo did. Gray intertwined his fingers with mine, and we sat that way the whole trip home, and talked and laughed. But I have noooooo idea what we talked about.