5/29/09

It’s been a long and exhausting day. I’m kind of glad it’s over, even thought I’m feeling sad. Just too much drama for me. I don’t even know where to begin…I really don’t want to tell about the whole day, I’m too tired, so I’ll just give the highlights…

1) Heather’s sudden return was all over the news this morning, and they made it sound very mysterious, which I guess it is to all those people that have absolutely no idea what’s been going on (not that I know much more, but I do have a clue anyway). The news people were bringing up all the questions that I’m sure her parents don’t want to answer, but it did come out that she was with her real dad, and at this point there aren’t going to be any charges filed against him. I’m glad that he’s not in trouble for taking her. I mean if he’s a good dad he was doing what he felt he had to do, right? I so plan to find out more. I did get a chance to touch Heather tonight at graduation. She didn’t walk with the rest of us, but she was there, and I went up to her and gave her a hug and told her I was glad she was back. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess, but mostly she was embarrassed to be the center of attention. A few random ones were…I wish everyone would just quit staring at me…nice girl…where’s dad…stay close, dad…I want to go home…I’m glad I don’t have to walk up on that stage…I hate hurting Mom, but I just can’t go back there…I would totally kill myself…there’s just too many people here…when can we go home…I felt so bad for her. She was so sad and nervous. I wish I could do something to help her. I will find a way to do that if I can.

2) The last day of school was fun, but sad too. The eighth grade parents had a bunch of good junk food set up for us this morning at the graduation rehearsal, and all of us were playing around so much that Mr. Larson was getting totally mad at us. He kept reminding us that we would just embarrass ourselves if we totally messed up…whatevs. How hard is it to file in by rows, then go get a certificate by rows? Hmmm? Anyway, we had a good time, and we got to line up with our friends, so I walked with Sophie and Gray and Jon were right in front of us. After it was over, we got our yearbooks and were signing everybody’s. I didn’t write much in Gray’s. I mean I still don’t know how we stand with each other (sigh), so I wasn’t about to write anything really cute or flirty, so I just said that I was happy we’re friends and we’ll have a lot of fun in high school. I know, I know….lame. I was nervous to see what Gray wrote in mine, so I decided not to read it until tomorrow. He’ll be gone, and I’ll be sad anyway, so if I’m disappointed it won’t matter, right? Sophie and I hung out at my house until she had to go home and change into the new sundress her mom bought her for graduation. She’ll probably have to go up on stage to get some kind of award (she always does), but since I don’t have to worry about that, I didn’t ask for anything new to wear. I’m just wearing my favorite pink skirt and striped top. I really don’t care that much…..in fact, if it weren’t for Sophie and Gray I wouldn’t even want to go. I was sure I would trip going up the stairs to the stage or something. That’s the kind of stuff that usually happens to me…

3) At graduation, some of the girls were crying like they were never going to see each other again. Oh brother…most of us are going to the same high school next year. Get over it! In fact, a lot of them will see each other all summer. I just don’t see the reason to get all weepy and gushy over the whole thing. BUT after it was over and everybody was starting to leave, Gray came up to me to say goodbye and then I did almost get teary. I knew this was the last time I was going to see him until the end of August (his plane was leaving at 6 am), and I really WAS sad about that. Of course, everybody was standing around, so there wasn’t going to be any mushy talk or big goodbye scene, like the one I picture in my head, but he did give me a hug and held onto my hand for a minute.

Gray: Well, I guess this is it.
Me: Yeah, I guess so.
Gray: I hope you have a great summer.
Me: You too. Don’t get thrown off any bucking broncos.
Gray: (grinning) I’ll try not to. Don’t get any grass stains.
Me: (grinning back) I can’t make any promises on that one.
Gray: Um, did you read what I wrote in your yearbook? (he looks at me like he’s searching for something)
Me: Uh, no, I haven’t had time. (lie)
Gray: Oh okay. (he looks a little disappointed) No hurry, whenever you get a minute.
Me: I’ll read it when I get home, okay?
Gray: That would be great. (his dimple winks at me and I feel like I’m really going to cry) Well, my parents are waiting for me, so I have to go. Take care, okay?
Me: You too. (he gives my hand one more little squeeze then walks away)

4) After that, I was really ready to get out of there. Mom and Dad took Matt and me out to eat at a nice restaurant near the high school, and it was a madhouse of course. I barely remember what I ate. I was so bummed at Gray leaving that I didn’t care much about it. It’s funny but Matt was actually nice to me tonight. He kind of punched my shoulder and said how much he was looking forward to torturing me in high school next year…but he said it with an actual smile (I nearly choked on my chicken tender!). I just stared at him like he was an alien being or something. Mom and Dad gave me a pretty white-gold necklace with my birthstone in it (August – peridot, a light-green, I like it better than emeralds, they’re too dark) and two tiny diamonds on either side of it. It’s so pretty, I really like it. It did make me feel special, and yeah, it made the graduation seem more special too. Another total shocker, Matt got me a $20 gift card to Target…wow! When we got home, Mom had made my favorite devils food cake with fudge frosting, and it had my name and little flowers all over it. Dad bought me some daisies, and we ate cake and vanilla ice cream and watched some lame movie Dad picked out…but that was okay, it turned out to be a pretty nice night, after all.

I guess I totally told the whole day anyway, huh? Oh well…Now I’m going to read Gray’s message, since I told him I would…I’ll paste it here:

Carly,
It’s been some year, huh? I had a great time getting to know you better this last month. In fact I have been wanting to for a long time. I guess I’ve kind of been crushing on you the whole year. Even though I’m excited to go work on my uncle’s ranch this summer, I wish I could stay home and hang out with you too. You’re fun and sweet and I really like you. I’m not sure if you feel the same, but I hope you do. It’ll be kind of lonesome up in Montana, so will you write me? My email is GRWeber@networth.net. I’ll look forward to hearing from you.
Gray

Wow.