6/9/09

98 today, but with a tiny breeze. I didn’t try to go to the lake with some of the other girls today, because I had my Headcase appointment. I stayed up an extra half hour last night to make my list of jobs NOT requiring touching (or could use gloves). I almost forgot, but I remembered just as I was turning out the light. Here’s what I took to her:

1) Short Order Cook – (hey, if it’s good enough for Odd Thomas, it’s good enough for me…because he sees dead people and bad spirit-types, he likes to keep his life simple…I totally understand)
2) Dishwasher – same industry…not only do I not have to deal with customers, I get to wear rubber gloves!
3) Bus-person – same thing (of course, these are just jobs, not really careers, but who knows if I’ll even WANT a career…maybe I’ll be a hobo and crisscross the country riding in boxcars)
4) Miss America – they wear those long gloves, don’t they?
5) Dog groomer/walker – I haven’t actually tried to read Tripp’s thoughts, but they wouldn’t be too difficult to figure out…”Ball!…Oooo yeah, rub right there…When’s dinner?…CAT!…Grrrr, mailman”
6) Veterinarian – I do like animals and it would be a real career, and human contact would be at a minimum.
7) Golf Caddy – Well, I would only brush hands occasionally with the golfer (who wears a glove!), and I’d get to be on TV!
8) Ski Instructor – Talk about covered head to toe…we’d all be so bundled nothing would touch…EVER! Now if only I lived within a thousand miles of mountains…
9) Construction Worker – They wear work gloves, right?
10) Any kind of factory where they make food – gotta be sanitary!
11) Trash Collector – Just touching trash…I get no vibes from trash.
12) Hermit/writer – same thing.
13) Crazy artist – they’re all insane I hear…I could do that
14) Professional musician – seriously. I could play in an orchestra…..hmmmm.
15) Race Car Driver/Stunt Driver – if I can ever touch the pedals :(
16) Figure Skater – they’re usually pretty small, right? Only not couples…
17) Scientist/Lab Assistant – latex gloves?
18) Park Ranger – out in the middle of nowhere…with just the grizzly bears and cougars…on second thought
19) Minnie Mouse – she ALWAYS wears gloves…okay, fine…I’ll stop
20) EMT – I know they always wear gloves…threat of infections
21) Zookeeper – I see an “animal” theme going here…I wonder…
22) Helicopter Pilot – just sounds like fun to me!

And just for fun, I added careers I absolutely DON’T want to do:

1) Any professional TEAM sport…NO CONTACT SPORTS (although I could play tennis, golf or swim, I guess)
2) Ballet Dancer – I’ve tried standing on my toes, hurts too much
3) Teacher – no thanks.
4) Anything requiring a swimsuit – too much skin exposed that might touch someone…unless I worked at an aquarium park and worked with dolphins and killer whales
5) Anything that requires jumping out of an airplane
6) Anything that requires touching people (or them touching me) all day as part of the job (without gloves)-flight attendant (tight spaces make for lots of touching), waitress, daycare worker, official hand-shaker, Lady’s Maid (hey, they always have to help their “Lady” get dressed and junk), Airport Security, Politician of any kind (ALWAYS having to shake hands and kiss babies – although babies’ thoughts are kind of blurry), so I guess that leaves out first woman president…I can live with that. Oh yeah, stripper and hooker are totally out…I see on TV how much THEY get touched….shudder….Mom and Dad will be so relieved!
7) Anything having to do with bugs or snakes – nope, don’t think so.
8) Firefighter – no way
9) Astronaut – just the term “G-force” makes me nervous
10) Governess – I want to have my own kids and all, but I don’t think I want to take care of other people’s brats all day (especially when I can actually hear how much they hate me)

Headcase was only a tiny bit amused by my humor…she was wanting me to be more serious about the assignment. Well I’m SORRY, I’m only 13 3/4 and I think it’s a little early to be planning my whole career out now. It’s hard enough just being AROUND people all the time and remembering not to touch them, I don’t want to THINK about what I’ll have to do in the future to earn a living AND avoid touching people (or touching them ON PURPOSE to try to help them)…I’m just not ready for that.

Sigh. We talked about a few of the more vivid memories I have about times I felt “traumatized” by touching someone. There was that time when I was 6 and Mom and I were at the grocery store. She let me go over to the next aisle to look at the toys, and an older man who smelled funny walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder and offered me a piece of candy. I immediately knew that he was thinking about taking me and he had pictures in his head of what he wanted to do to me. I screamed bloody murder, and started crying and yelling for my Mommy, and people came running from all over the store. The man tried to cover it up by saying that he noticed me all alone and came up to me to ask where my mother was, but Mom knew better. I was shaking and sobbing and clinging to her and she KNEW what was going on. She let it go, so that people walked away, but as she picked me up in her arms and started walking past that man, I’ll never forget what she said to him. “I know what you are, and if I ever see you in this neighborhood again, I will call the police and have you arrested.” She told me years later that she did look him up on the Internet, and sure enough he was a convicted child molester. I still get a little sick to my stomach when I think about him. I think of all the little kids who couldn’t read his thoughts, who were trusting and just went with him to get a piece of candy.

Oh great, now I’ll sleep MUCH better…