5/11/09
I’m not sure what I should do. Should I talk to my parents? Headcase? I don’t think I can just ignore it. That’s what I should have done in the first place…mind my own business and NOT watch other people. That’s gonna get me in trouble. Okay, let me see if I can work this out. I was sitting on a bench in the quad this morning before the first bell, just staring off into space like I sometimes do, letting the conversations around me just kind of wash over me. I was thinking about Heather Jackson and listening to the latest gossip, and people arguing over what they think has happened to her. The current theory going around is that she ran off with a high school boy that her parents wouldn’t let her date…her step dad is really strict and says she can’t date until she’s eighteen (that much is true, everybody knows it). Before, it was some serial killer that had dismembered her and mailed the parts all over the country. At least this one’s not gory. Middle school girls would rather dream that it’s something romantic…very Romeo and Juliet.
Anyway, I started glancing around the quad (yes, sort of looking for Gray…okay, more than sort of), and I happened to see Heather’s group sitting not too far away. I found myself watching them, really just to see how they were holding up under the pressure (I know it’s still bothering me, and I’m not even close to her), and I noticed something odd, or at least it seemed odd to me. All of them seemed about the same, a little down, but not as much as before…that’s the way it is, as time goes on you just get on with it. You can’t stay totally depressed and stressed every minute. But Heather’s BFF, Tessa Prince, didn’t look depressed. She didn’t look sad…she looked nervous. Seriously, she looked scared and you know, twitchy. Totally not the kind of mood I expected to see from her right now. It was just out of place. So…here’s where I should have minded my own business, like I said…I got curious. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to know what was making her act scared and twitchy. No one else seemed to notice. They probably thought she was just nervous wondering where Heather was. It didn’t seem like that kind of nervous to me. She wasn’t really talking to any of them, she kept her eyes down mostly pretending to study, and when she did look up, she kind of looked……I don’t know…guilty about something…shifty-eyed (I know, that sounds like an old movie, but that’s the word that comes to mind).
I sat there, trying not to be too obvious about watching Tessa, when Sophie elbowed me for ignoring her. She asked what I was looking at, and I said I was just looking at nothing in particular, thinking. Since I do that a lot, Sophie didn’t question it, just told me to come back to earth. I tried to pay better attention to the conversation, but I kept glancing back over at Tessa. I started wondering if there was a way I could “accidentally” touch her in the hall or something. We only have one class together, where we sit on opposite sides of the room, and like I said before, we don’t really have any friends in common. It would have to seem totally random. Lucky for me, Markham Middle School isn’t very big, and all the eighth graders have most of our classes along one long hallway, so I would have plenty of opportunities.
This still presented a real puzzle, especially since I have spent the last 8+ years making sure I don’t touch people as much as possible without being too obvious about it. My own circle of friends is okay, because I know all of them and their thoughts are mostly predictable. I don’t have to be on my guard so much with them. But everyone else……let’s just say, I don’t wear tank tops to school, and I have little tricks to keep the contact to a minimum…like NOT rushing out into the hall when the bell rings and everyone else is rushing out into the hall, pushing and shoving their way to the next class. I make it a point to linger in class until closer to the next bell, when the crowd has thinned out a little. Stuff like that.
So thinking of a way to touch Tessa Prince is really thinking outside the box for me. Since we were both wearing long sleeves today, I couldn’t just brush up against her in the hall (you might know…the one time that might come in handy). I decided the easiest way would be to follow her into the bathroom and pretend to reach for a paper towel at the same time as her. The trouble with that plan was that she didn’t go in the bathroom all day! I don’t know how she holds it! The girl has got to have a seriously over-sized bladder. I thought I might be able to catch her at the drinking fountain, but she must be part camel too, because she didn’t go near any water either. Of course, I wasn’t near her every minute…she might have gone during class. Anyway, I was beginning to think that touching a person was a lot harder than I thought, when an opportunity just fell at my feet…literally. I was leaning against the wall by the water fountain right before my last class, hoping she might decide she was thirsty at the last second, and she started walking my way. Right when she got close, she dropped her book bag right in front of me and several things spilled out! Cool! I immediately bent down to pick up a book that skidded to a stop at my feet, and as I handed it to her I made sure my fingertips covered hers, and I didn’t let go until I was “sure” she had a good hold on the book…subtle of course!
It always amazes me how many thoughts can run through a person’s mind in just a few seconds, especially when that mind is racing. And Tessa Prince’s mind was going 90 miles an hour. I am such a klutz…I hope someone doesn’t kick something down the hall…did I lose my lip gloss…what am I going to do…is that my math paper over there…Heather said she’d call…I’m going to be late for class…I should have eaten something at lunch…I’m so hungry…I hope Mr. Jackson knows what he’s doing…where’s my book…oh, Carly…thanks…
Tessa: Oh, Carly…thanks. (glances at my face briefly)
Me: No problem. Did you get everything? (watching her to see if I can tell anything)
Tessa: I think so. Man, that was graceful. (looking in her book bag)
Me: Well, I better get to class.
Tessa: Yeah, me too. Thanks again. (hurries off)
Okay, WHAT??? She is expecting a call from Heather? But Heather must not have done it, which is why she’s so nervous. And what is that about Mr. Jackson? How could he know anything? He seemed really upset in that TV interview. Could he be faking? Why? And does her mom know? What is going on? I’ve been going back through it over and over all afternoon. It really doesn’t make sense, but I know one thing. Something weird is definitely going on. Maybe I should tell Mom…
