No, you haven’t missed anything…this is just a brand-new blog, but the actual diet has been going on for a few weeks. I was so excited this morning to weigh, because I had absolutely no doubt that I would lose, but how much (I only allow myself to weigh in once a week, to lessen my frustration on a day-to-day basis and to add to my positive anticipation…it’s so hard to wait!)? Drumroll please………..I gained a pound. I know, I know, don’t freak out, right? I AM SOOOOO FREAKING OUT!!!! You have got to understand how hard I have been trying, how good I have been…okay, not perfect, but good enough that gaining a pound was a complete and total shock. My excitement and anticipation over my weigh-in turns to utter despair……well, maybe that’s a little dramatic (people wonder where my sons get it), but I am totally bummed.

I have been walking since June, and I am up to 45 minutes 5-6 days a week (usually 6). My diet is South Beach which is very healthy and works well for me, PLUS I have been counting calories for the last 4 weeks diligently, and NOT ONCE have I gone over 2000 calories. I’m trying to keep it right at 1500 (yes, this past week I did go over that number several times, but still kept it under 2000 which is pretty good!). So I guess this means I’ll have to be stricter with my calories (and FAT intake)….sigh.

I know it sounds like I might be too strict, but really I’m not, because I have started menopause and hormones fluctuations cause your metabolism to go down (way down)…that’s why most women gain at least a little weight when they hit “the change”. I’ll admit it, I knew that losing weight was going to be really hard right now, but I still had this unreasonable secret hope that I would still be able to lose weight as easily as I did 10 years ago (or even 3…). If I can give any woman a sound piece of advice, it would be this: IF YOU HAVE WEIGHT YOU NEED TO LOSE, DO IT NOW, BEFORE YOU HIT MENOPAUSE, OR YOU WILL REGRET IT! I’ve known this for the last 5 years, and I have lost 25 pounds twice and gradually gained it back both times. I just can’t seem to get under 175 no matter what I do (okay I know why…).

The extenuating circumstances on the previous failures to continue losing have been that both times, I lost that weight during the summer WITH my DD, but both times she had to leave at the end of the summer to go back to college, and I have never been very motivated on my own. I need someone there to yell at me once in a while to “put the doughnut down and back away with your hands where I can see them!!” But this time, she and her husband are living here in Boise, so I have at least one year to take the weight off. That helps. And no, Bailey, I’m not giving up…NO WAY! I am just very disappointed that not only didn’t I lose one stinkin’ pound, I gained a pound! And I was even good over the weekend (the main reason I weigh on Mondays).

Okay, I paused in my rant long enough to take my morning walk, so I feel better…not a whole lot, but better. I will continue the saga of my eating habits and struggles with body-image issues tomorrow. I know you will wait with bated breath…