Skittish…
August 25th, 2009Last night, I sat down and wrote a fairly long blog, telling of my childhood. And I fully intended to post it this morning right here. But honestly, it felt like I took a nice sharp, but serrated, knife and sliced open my abdomen, letting my entrails spill out all over the place. I juuuuuuuuuuust don’t think I’m ready to show you my many miles of colon yet. It’s too soon…it’s much too soon to share like that. I don’t want to scare you away, I want to invite you in.
Instead, I will just say that I’m happy you’re here. Right now, at this moment. I have so much I want to say, and I have a tendency to want to spill it all immediately and leave no mysteries to be revealed. I will try to be patient without obsessing (not an easy task for me….huge obsessor [probably not a word, huh] and patience? let’s just say I’m still a work in progress). Baby steps, baby steps…this has been my mantra ever since I discovered Flylady. I can do baby steps.
Yesterday, I actually sat at the computer, on and off, for half the day, just waiting to see if someone would read the blog, comment on the blog. I blush as I say this……no obsessing there! So, I will go ahead and lay out my entrails neatly and orderly, in drafts. Many drafts. And as I gain courage and trust, I will feed you little bits at a time, instead of shoving it down your throats all in one sitting…at least I will try.
As for my rant yesterday, that was the other reason I sat around all day (I did take my walk but cut 10 minutes off of it because of my pout). And last night, I punished my traitor body by stuffing it with two nice sized tostadas (baked shell at least, but hamburger meat), then polishing off DDIL’s second taco (FRIED shell). Now that’s just silly. All over one stinkin’ pound. To top off the feelings of idiocy, my ankles swelled like stuffed sausages last night, which means I’m retaining water…probably the reason I was up a pound. Stupid menopause. Anyway, I’m over it and feeling sheepish, but happy that I didn’t do anything worse to my poor body like eat a whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (man, that sounds heavenly). I’m back on my self-imposed wagon today, ready to get on with it. Yea, me……psshhhhht.
August 25th, 2009 at 9:24 am
I’ve been blogging five and a half years, and I will still obsessively check my email just to see if someone has commented on one of my posts. I don’t do it as much these days, but I still do it.
Don’t beat yourself up over the tostadas. Just drink a ton of water today and stay on the horse. If it makes you feel better, I ate a whole sausage last night.
August 25th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Hi, I came over from Sarahk’s! And I pretty much second everything she said. :) Welcome to blogging!
August 26th, 2009 at 8:25 am
The word entrails leaves a really creepy image.